Blessed Beyond Measure: June 2011

I find it hard to bring myself to write this post this year. Not that I don't want to commemorate this day or even remember Daniel because those that are closest to me know that I remember and think about Daniel daily. Part of me just doesn't want to think that it has been 5 years already. Five seems like a number that is just so defined, a number that might make it okay for me to part ways with things that I have been having a hard time to let go of in regard to Daniel, a number that makes it all seem very real. Have I really been with out Daniel in my life for five years? Can it really be five years since I last saw him smile or heard his voice speak my name? It just doesn't seem possible.

Right after Daniel went to be with the Lord, thinking about commemorating a FIVE year homecoming just seemed impossible and yet, here it is. I would like to reflect on the biggest thing I have learned during this 4th year of grief and healing. If you had the pleasure of knowing Daniel, then you knew that he always said "If just one person could be impacted by this, it is all worth it." Well, this year I had the opportunity to share God's story of redemption in my life through Daniel's journey at a MOPS meeting. I can not begin to tell you how that opportunity impacted me and many others. That was in March and still to this day I have people coming up to me and thanking me for sharing and then they share with me how God has used our story and testimony to bless, grow, and/or encourage them. Total confirmation of what Daniel and I prayed for so often during his battle with cancer.

I feel as though our story of grief, sorrow, pain, suffering, and brokenness has truly turned into a story of REDEMPTION; thanks only to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I have talked often of how Daniel and I were victors through Christ and that cancer certainly did not hold us down; don't get me wrong, Jesus is always the victor in our lives, but looking back at how far I have come in 5 years, He is my REDEEMER as well!!!

The blessings in my life are an amazing testimony to that. I am so thankful for this redemption and healing; and I am confident that healing, growth, and continued blessings will continue to come from Christ, no matter what circumstances this life throws at us. I pray that others can be blessed by this truth as well. Even though Daniel has been with the Lord for 5 years now, it is still my daily prayer that others will be impacted in some way and specifically grow closer to the Lord by knowing him through me and by seeing what God can do in our lives when we are open and willing, especially through his Grace!

I would like to share with you all the recording of the talk I gave at MOPS. My disclaimer though: I am not a professional public speaker and I can definitely use a lot of growth and encouragement in that area; but with that said, I hope this might be encouraging to you in some way.

I also want to share this song. A friend recently shared it with me, stating that she knows the singer/song writer and believes this song resembles my life. Laura Story, the singer and writer of this song, walks a similar road that I once walked. Her husband, less than two years after they were married, was diagnosed with a brain tumor. That was in 2006 and they still continue to battle. She wrote this song among those struggles and it is very timely when it comes to understanding God's blessings and redemption. I LOVE this song and I hope it can bless and encourage you in some way too.

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What if your blessings come through raindrops? What if your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you’re near?
What if trials of this life are your mercies in disguise?
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