Mixed Emotions

Joy…Sorrow…Confusion…Contentment…Anger…Frustration…Questions… 

It is with great sorrow that I write these words today, letting you, my family and friends, know that my paternal grandmother suffered a severe stroke and heart attack yesterday evening and passed away quietly this morning around 3 am. 

I titled this post, “Mixed Emotions”, for the simple fact that those are exactly what I am feeling today.  As most of you remember, we said goodbye to my paternal grandfather only a short 3 months ago.  The pain of that loss was just settling in for many in my family, especially during this holiday season.  We never anticipated this great loss to come so quickly. 

I think about how hard it has been for my grandmother these past three months, living with out her one true love and dealing with the loneliness that comes with losing a spouse after more than 60 years of marriage. I, as a widow myself, understand the sadness of losing a spouse only after just 6 years of being together, I can not imagine the loss after several decades of being together. However, I don’t think any of us could have predicted that her broken heart would cause us to lose her so quickly. 

My Nana was a quiet woman. She loved to sit in her chair and enjoy her TV shows. In fact, just the other day my dad and I were talking about The Wheel of Fortune and I was telling him how when ever I watch The Wheel of Fortune, I always think about Nana. I remember that she always loved to watch that show! 

She was an Irish-New Yorker! Surly she didn’t take “crap” from anyone and some might consider her rough-around-the-edges, but she had a kind soul. When Daniel was sick, she always made a point to send cards and letters to let us know that she was thinking about us and praying for us. She always sent us gifts as small children and this year she was sure to send Sierra a special card and treat for Christmas. When I talked to her last Friday, I thanked her for the gift she sent to Sierra and told her how thoughtful it was for her to think of Sierra. It stuck in my memory when she said, “I know it wasn’t anything real big, but I wanted to do something.” I responded by saying, “No, it was perfect and very sweet of you to even think about her.” I told her how we were going to place the gift in Sierra’s piggy bank and maybe someday Sierra could use the money to get her ears pierced; very naively, I assumed Nana would be around to see that day. 

My Nana was a fighter! In her long life, she faced so many medical battles and overcame every single one of them. She never allowed multiple cancers, diabetes, or any other medical problems to touch her; instead it was a broken heart that would lead her home. 

My grandparents lived a long life together; traveling many miles up and down the East coast, raising 4 children, loving 8 Grandchildren, and 7 Great-Grandchildren. It was a long journey for both of them and it seems that 3 months was too long for them to be apart. 

True love was reunited in Heaven today and now we are the ones left with the broken hearts.

Happy Birthday Jesus

This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” -which means, “God with us.” When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.

Matthew 1:18-25

We pray that you all are blessed by the most perfect gift of all today, the gift of a Savior, born unto us, to save us from our sins and give us eternal life in Heaven. Merry Christmas from our family to yours.

Wonderful News!

Click HERE to read the wonderful news of the blessing that God has bestowed upon our family! 

We are so thankful that the Lord has heard the desires of my sisters' heart and has blessed her and my brother-in-law!  We covet your prayers for the next 6 months (and beyond) as they begin this new, incredible journey!

Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations. The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing (Psalm 145:13-16 NIV).

8 Months!

Time flies when you are having fun...

Our precious little girl is 8 months old today!

Oh, how we love her so!!!

Guilt

It happened to me.  I failed as a parent.  The same words that have come out of my mouth “I would never let that happen” are now being eaten up….and they taste horrible!!!  I love my child and I would NEVER intentionally let any harm come to her, but yesterday I failed.  

Sierra fell.  In a matter of seconds, I took my eye off her and over she went, with a loud boom on the floor. Praise God that she is so resilient. I scooped her up and she cried for less than 20 seconds. Meanwhile, my heart is still suffering. I was shaking and crying and I ran in and woke up Brian to tell him. My dear husband is always reassuring, his response – “Don’t worry. She will fall many more times, like when she is older and she falls off her bike.” I appreciate his comforting words, but I still feel like I have let Sierra down as her mother. I didn’t protect her like I should have; because of me, she had to experience pain, even if it was for just a few seconds. 

I pray that God will heal my heart and help me to overcome the guilt that I feel right now.  It makes me wonder, is this how God feels when we, as His dear children, let Him down? If anything, this situation has taught me that 1. I need to work on being a better mother and 2. I really need to work on being a better child of God.  My heart is so heavy with guilt and shame.  I pray that Sierra will forgive me and more importantly that God will forgive me and help me to become better than I am.

Pearly Whites

That's right friends....Sierra has 2 new teeth!!!

She cut her first tooth around the first week in November and her second has been working its way in since about the same time.  It isn't in all the way yet though, but almost!  Teething has been okay so far.  Sierra had a few fussy days, but teething has not interrupted her sleep or her eating habits.  She is tolerating it like a champ!  Here she is showing off her new pearly whites (the first picture is from the day I felt the first tooth cutting through, you might have to click on the image to make it bigger to see anything.  The second two pictures are more recent)...

What else is there better to do with new teeth?  You guessed it...we get to start brushing now! Fun Fun Fun!!!

Littlest Fan!!!

Today, my Mama and Daddy are at the Bills vs. San Fran football game in Buffalo.  Mama and Daddy had to dress in layers because the temperature is only suppose to be a high of 36.  I don't know much about temperatures, but Mama says that is very cold.  The weather people are also calling for rain and snow.  Mama says that is yucky!  But it is great weather for a football game. It doesn't make sense to me.  

All I know is that I get to stay with Nana and Pop.  This is going to be the longest time period I have ever been away from both my Mama and my Daddy.  I promised them I would be a good girl.  I am a little worried though...I know, 7 month old babies aren't suppose to worry...but I am still worried.  Daddy says I want San Fran to win, but Mama says I want the Bills to win.  Really, I just want milk and I don't even know what "Win" means....But I did realize, when I looked in the mirror today, this is what I was wearing...

And I am pretty happy about it...

Go Bills!!!

Bath Time Fun!!!

Now that Sierra can sit up by herself, bath time is getting to be so much fun.  Our little pumpkin LOVES her bath time.  She has from the very first day we brought her home.  The pediatrician in the hospital told us not to give her sponge baths because they just make babies cold and unhappy. He said it was completely fine to put her in 2 inches of water, that her cord stub would heal just fine.  So we took his word for it and since day one of being home, Sierra has always been in the tub and she has NEVER cried while bathing.  Bath time is so fun for us and I am hoping that it will just continue to become more fun as she is able to move into the big tub and get some fun bath toys, etc.  As kids, we always loved our baths too. Like Mommy, like Daughter!

It is no secret that Sierra has A LOT of hair!  So I decided to have a little bath time fun too.

Enjoy the pictures!  Of course this didn't phase her at all.  As long as she had mister crabby to bite on, she was content.  I got a good laugh out of it though!

First Meal

Sierra enjoyed her first meal a few weeks back now.  She started out with rice cereal; we tried the homemade stuff, but it was still a little too chunky for her, so we used the commercial brand stuff that my Nana bought for me as a shower gift.  After a few days of cereal, we started her on avocado (homemade).  She LOVES it!  That is probably her personal favorite right now.  She starts waving her hands in excitement as soon as she sees the green stuff! :)  I am glad she likes it.  It is supposed to be really really good for her and her developing brain.

After avocado, we have done sweet potatoes, carrots, applesauce, and yogurt.  The applesauce is taking a little coaxing still.  I have started putting a little Cinnamon on it, and she has seems to like it more.  Brian did the applesauce homemade too, and he purchased the green apples from the store, instead of the red ones, so I think it is a little sour or tart.  I tried it and I wouldn't like it either, if I were her! :)  But there is a lot of it and we won't waste it, so in some way or another we will get her to eat it.  

Brian also mixed up some pears and she has yet to try those, probably this week she can try that.  Everything we have given her, minus some rice crackers and the cereal has been homemade.  I can not take any credit though, Brian has done all the batches of food so far; he is a champ baby food maker! :)  I am so glad that we have decided to do it this way.  First of all, it is SO much cheaper and second, it is much better for her.  Who knows what kind of color dyes and preservatives they are putting in those jars of baby food; and I don't know how long they have been sitting on the shelve in the store and before that in the warehouse.  This way, we know that Sierra is getting fresh, cooked, healthy food.  This way works best for us! :)

Here are some pictures we have taken over the past few weeks of the food making process (making homemade rice cereal) and of Sierra enjoying "real" food.

Thanksgiving!

Heavenly Father, on Thanksgiving Day 

We bow our hearts to You and pray. 

We give You thanks for all You've done 

Especially for the gift of Jesus, Your Son. 

For beauty in nature, Your glory we see 

For joy and health, friends and family, 

For daily provision, Your mercy and care 

These are the blessings You graciously share. 

So today we offer this response of praise 

With a promise to follow You all of our days. 

Mary Fairchild

We are so very thankful for our families, who love us and support us each and every day.

We are thankful for our beautiful daughter who brightens our day in so many ways.

We are thankful for each other, for the love we share and the friendship that knows no end.

We are thankful for our health and for our healthy families; we have spent too many Thanksgivings fighting a health battle.  Thank you Lord for providing good health to us all now.

We are thankful for all of our friends, especially all those that are reading this blog right now.  We love you and we pray for you daily.

Most importantly, we are thankful for our Lord and Savior.  For dying on the Cross, so that as long as we believe, we will not be separated from our Father in Heaven.

We pray that all of you have a blessed Thanksgiving.  Enjoy your families, enjoy your friends, enjoy the parades (always a favorite of mine), enjoy some football, and be sure to Thank God for all the wonderful blessings in your life.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.  Psalm 100:4 NIV

Pure Innocence

Yesterday, I spent the morning in my 1st grade classroom at Atlantic Shores Christian School. The children were having their Thanksgiving Feast and I was so blessed to be able to join them. During the morning, the parents came in and decorated the room, set up the "dinner table", and brought in all the food and fixings.  They also planned a craft for the children to do in the afternoon. I missed that part because I had to go to class.  Bummer!

I was amazed at all the Mommy's, Daddy's, Grandma's, and Grandpa's that took time away from work and home to come in and share this special day.  This is something that I have noticed to be really lacking in the public school system - parents that are not available for their children or don't care enough to participate.  Now, don't start throwing nasty comments in my direction...I know all parents aren't this way; but if you look at the statistics, every year parents become less and less involved in their children's lives (especially when they are school age).  It is sad. However, yesterday God stirred up so much thankfulness in my soul as I sat and watched the joy on these children's faces when their parents walked in the room.  I am so grateful that I am able to stay at home with my child.  Putting our child(ren) first, I am sure that Brian and I will make it a priority to attend the important events in our child's life.  

One dad walked in our room about and hour early (he blamed his wife, saying she told him the feast was at 10am, not 11am) :) The fact that he was early though didn't effect his precious daughter.  As soon as she saw him, she jumped out of her chair yelling "Daaaaddddyyyy" and jumped into his arms.  It was the sweetest Father/Daughter moment.  She was so happy to see him, that he had made the time to come to her special Thanksgiving day.  Precious!  I look forward to the day when Brian and I can spend sweet moments like this with Sierra.

As the children were sitting around the table, they shared what they are thankful for.  It was wonderful to hear their pure and innocent comments.  If only we could all be as thankful as a 6 year old.  These dear children have not yet been let down by the world, or by people, they have not been abandoned or abused, and although they are young, every day in school they praise the Lord and are thankful for a loving Father in heaven that sent His son to save them.  It is innocence at its best!!!  I am thankful to be apart of their lives, even if it is for just a short season.

I forgot my camera, but I did get some pictures with the camera on my phone.  Here are some that I took....enjoy!  Also, there is a great video...be sure to check it out!

Our decorated room, the buffet table, and some of the parents.

My lead teacher, Courtney, read a Thanksgiving book to the children before they ate.

The children and parents enjoy the feast.

This is my lead teacher, Courtney and her son Jeremiah.  JD is in the infant care downstairs at the school.  So Courtney is able to go down there on her breaks and nurse him, visit with him during her lunch break, have him in chapel with her every Wednesday, and spend time with him in the classroom during events like this. It works out very well for them.  Jeremiah is only about 1.5 months younger then Sierra and he is super cute!  The kids love when he comes to visit the classroom!

Courtney, plays the guitar and sings...here are my sweet 1st graders singing praises of Thanksgiving to the Lord (sorry it is only 30 seconds...I promise after viewing it, you will be longing for more)!!! :)

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Beautiful Friends

We are so very thankful for beautiful friends that we do not get to see very often.  Our friends, Brian and Kandi and their two children, Peyton and Olivia; plus Kandi's parents, Kim and Cliff all came for a visit this past weekend.  They are so very special to us and Peyton and Olivia just love Sierra.  I didn't take many pictures, but here are some that I did get...

We are so thankful for beautiful friendships that last a lifetime.  We love all our dear friends and love when we can be together and visit with one another.

They will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness. Psalm 145:7 (NIV)

Toys (and many of them)

This is what our living room looks like after a day full of playing.  

"How many kids do you have?" You might ask...Well, I am ashamed to admit that the answer is...yes, we only have 1 child!!!  

And...She is blessed with so many things to keep her content (too many, actually).  This should be a warning to all of you out there that are buying for that little child this upcoming holiday.  She obviously doesn't need ANY MORE toys!

We are very thankful for everything we have and for most of these toys which were borrowed from cousin Pierce or bought second hand from other children who were done playing with them.  We are so thankful!!!

"Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands. 

Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing. 

Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; 

we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. 

Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. 

For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations."  Psalm 100 (NIV)

Warmth

Brian has a friend, that has some land, with a lot of wood.  He split some for us and gave us a great price for a truck load and so now...this is how we plan to keep warm this winter, and try to save money on heating costs! :)

I am thankful for a warm house and a wonderful husband who doesn't mind stacking wood in our garage and building fires to keep us warm! 

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."

Psalm 107:1 NIV