It happened to me. I failed as a parent. The same words that have come out of my mouth “I would never let that happen” are now being eaten up….and they taste horrible!!! I love my child and I would NEVER intentionally let any harm come to her, but yesterday I failed.
Sierra fell. In a matter of seconds, I took my eye off her and over she went, with a loud boom on the floor. Praise God that she is so resilient. I scooped her up and she cried for less than 20 seconds. Meanwhile, my heart is still suffering. I was shaking and crying and I ran in and woke up Brian to tell him. My dear husband is always reassuring, his response – “Don’t worry. She will fall many more times, like when she is older and she falls off her bike.” I appreciate his comforting words, but I still feel like I have let Sierra down as her mother. I didn’t protect her like I should have; because of me, she had to experience pain, even if it was for just a few seconds.
I pray that God will heal my heart and help me to overcome the guilt that I feel right now. It makes me wonder, is this how God feels when we, as His dear children, let Him down? If anything, this situation has taught me that 1. I need to work on being a better mother and 2. I really need to work on being a better child of God. My heart is so heavy with guilt and shame. I pray that Sierra will forgive me and more importantly that God will forgive me and help me to become better than I am.
4 comments:
Karen, please don't be so hard on yourself! Of course Sierra forgives you! You are her mother, and you fill her life with love and a sense of safety. (If she didn't love you and feel safe with you, would her crying have stopped so quickly??) You are an amazing mother who is raising a beautiful, happy, healthy child, and the fact that this incident has affected you so much just goes to show what a caring, compassionate mom you truly are!
Don't feel guilty - you certainly didn't mean for it to happen! I agree with Brian - and probably many other parents - she is going to fall many, many more times! And, the good news is that she is so little, she isn't even going to remember this happening!
Remember that you are a great mom and you do a great job of taking care of her 24/7!
Love you!
She'll fall over and over -- literally and figuratively -- the best part is that you'll always be there to pick her right back up again. That's what GREAT moms do :)
Love you.
Oh, it is such an awful feeling when our actions cause our children to have an accident. The truth is that none of us are perfect and we are sure to make mistakes along the way. You are a wonderful mother and Sierra is so blessed to have you! And the good news is she won't even remember it in the morning! :)
Love you!
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